Written by shea lo
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Topics: Pope, Birthdays

Friday, 16 April 2010

image for Pope celebrates 83rd birthday with cake - and a pie in the face

THE VATICAN, ROME: Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his 83rd birthday here yesterday. After making a birthday wish he blew out most of the candles on his cake with some help from his fancy-frocked Cardinals, Bishops and other sycophantic Vatican minions.

When asked what he wished for the Pompatus said:

"In these days, I ask you to pray for the needs of the universal church" so it might receive renewed "holiness, unity and missionary zeal."

This reporter then confronted the Pope as he shamelessly licked birthday cake cream off his fingers:

"What about the millions of sex abuse victims all over the world for which your Church was responsible? Do you ever give any thought for what they have suffered?"

Instead of answering these questions the cowardly Pope had his security detail form a cordon around him; blamed homosexuality for his pernicious pederast priests and suffered another public bout of Vatican verbal diarrhea.

Through the stench of sick that has pervaded the Vatican, the cunning old codger pontificated that the newspaper Avvenire, knew the "real truth" and had offered him both birthday wishes and support for "the insults and attacks" he had endured in recent weeks.

As he continued with his tirade of denial numerous victims thronged forward and chucked a volley of curdled cream pies in his face yelling:

"Take that tosser. Here's your forgiveness. Too bad it isn't a thunderbolt from your God"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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