Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 16 April 2010

image for Iceland Ash Cloud Result of Huge Stoner Party
The deadly volcanic cloud is really a bit more enjoyable. Party on.

While the World Health Organization continues to manage the supposed ill effects of a volcanic ash cloud originating from Iceland, thousands of recreational drug users still on the Northern volcanic island are laughing at the havoc they know they caused.

Careful not to attract the attention of the press or local police, organizers of the annual "Legalize Pot" convention, typically move their venue to a new secret location each year. The 2010 convention held near Reykjavik, had attracted more than 8,000 international attendees, and boasted a closing ceremony that featured the burning of more than 1,000 metric tons of premium marijuana inside the volcano.

"Talk about getting baked, all you had to do was breathe", says California resident and Legalize Pot chairman, Mitch Ruggbern. Plans for the closing convention ceremony went awry when the entire load of pot was accidentally released from a cargo helicopter into the bubbling throat of the volcano. "We were hoping for a controlled burn, like slowly feeding the world's largest bong, but oh well. Hey, are you going to finish that sandwich?", asked Ruggbern.

The sudden drop of the leafy tonnage generated a massive cloud of smoke that now engulfs Europe. "Too bad they aren't enjoying the free gift", says Ruggbern. "We're going to be stoned up here for days". An enlightened Ruggbern added, "Hey, if we do the same thing in Israel, we could actually bring peace to the whole middle east… that's heavy man." Indeed.

In a related story, grocery store owners across Europe are not able to restock snack food on their store shelves fast enough. A sudden and unexplained demand for potato crisps, cookies, and pretzels has swept the European Union.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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