Reykjavik, Iceland - The volcano Mount Ganjabooweed is releasing much more than ash and dust with its spectacular eruptions, far above the Arctic Circle. The smoking volcano is also exhaling gigantic plumes of marijuana. There is enough smoke being released to make everyone in Europe stoned for the next six months.
Volcanologists believe someone planted an enormous garden of marijuana plants underneath the surface of Mount Ganjabooweed. The titanic eruption has turned the volcano into a gigantic pipe, with the red-hot crater as the bowl. Scientist say the marijuana smoke is very potent. Only one hit of smoke is needed to make someone stoned for weeks.
Airline pilots were the first people to be affected by the smoke. All flights in Europe have been stopped, but not because of volcanic dust. Everyone is simply too stoned to fly.
The intense marijuana smoke is expected to drift south towards London later today, completely intoxicating the entire population. Schools and businesses have been cancelled for the foreseeable future.
Authorities in the UK are alerting people to stock up on Guinness beer, DVDs and lots of munchies. Everyone will see their eyes turn red and there throats get scratchy. Authorities say that is a normal reaction.
"Just relax and enjoy the free smoke and the beautiful red sunsets!" said Prime Minister Gordon Brown. "Just forget about the election next month, you'll be too stoned to care anyway." he laughed.