Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stepped up his rhetoric against President Barack Obama tonight on Iranian TV as he took the stage on "Open Mic Night" at Tehran's "The Humor Centrifuge" comedy club.
The Iranian President, dressed in a lime green polyester leisure suit, smoked a cigarette and sipped on a drink as he wowed the raucous crowd with his raunchy political stand-up routine.Ahmadinejad opened with:
"Hey guys, I just fully mastered nuclear technology....just like I fully mastered Michelle Obama! Hey, Barack Obama! Can I call you Barry? Listen up, punk, American materialist politicians,whenever they are beaten by logic, immediately resort to their weapons like cowboys... sorta like "Brokeback Mountain." (laughter)
"Look Barry, you are a newcomer. Wait until your sweat dries and get some experience...American officials bigger than you...two inches would do it...more bullying than you,couldn't do a damn thing, let alone you,bitch!"
As the crowd erupted with laughter, applause and cries of "Death to America" Ahmadinejad continued.
"Hey Barry, I've got your birth certificate, right here!" as he grabbed his crotch."Oops, careful there Mahmoud, it might explode! And Barry, why hide your school records? Afraid the people of the Great Satan might realize what a dumbass you are? Hey, I got a straight "A" record in college for embassy taking!
"What did you major in?... bong hits and keggers? Do you hear me, Barry? You should, with those ears you could hear a gnat fart across town! Hey,whether you like it or not, I'm getting nuclear weapons! Goodnight Tehran, and Allah bless!"
Ahmadinejad then left the stage to thunderous applause and chants of "encore,encore". Less than a minute later he returned to the stage to more applause.
After the crowd quieted he said: "People, I've got a surprise for you." Pulling a cellphone from his pocket, he flipped it open and said "Guys, give a big warm welcome to Barack Hussein Saetoro-err-Obama!"
The audience cheered loudly as Barack Obama's voice comes over the PA system. "Hello, President Ahmadinejad,very funny routine. You know, after listening to you, I have to agree with you. You do deserve nuclear weapons. In fact,I am sending three to you as we speak. Adios, buttmunch!"
The transmission went to static a few seconds later.