Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Penis, Bees

Thursday, 8 April 2010

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An Unlikely Cure For Depression

New York, NY-- A psychiatrist from New York City may have discovered a remarkable cure for depression. Dr. Hugh Feelgood has developed a unique treatment for curing even the most severe depression in adult males. The doctor lets dozens of killer bees sting the patient's penis hundreds of times. The cure is instantaneous and appears to last forever.

Severe depression in adult males has been increasing since the economic crisis began in 2008. Dr. Feelgood treats a large number of these depressed patients in his Park Avenue clinic. The doctor has his patients undress and he then attaches a plastic tube around the penis. Next, he pours in dozens of very angry killer bees, and then lets nature take its course. The treatment only takes five minutes.

"There's always lots of yelling and screaming at the beginning of the treatment, but that can be very cathartic too." said the psychiatrist. "A medical doctor and a nurse are always standing by for any bad reactions."

Hundreds of formerly depressed patients are singing Dr. Feelgood's praises, and a Nobel Prize seems likely.

Mr. Seth Sack is a former patient and had nothing but good words for the unusual therapy.

"I used to just lie around all day, feeling sorry for myself and thinking dark thoughts." said Mr. Sack. "Now, after the bee-sting therapy I smile all the time and never think of hurting myself. I will never, ever be depressed again and I will never, ever need that bee-sting therapy again!" said the kook. "And my penis size has almost doubled!" he added.

A bee-sting cure for adult women is currently being developed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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