Written by Mark Motz
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Friday, 18 February 2005

image for World Religious League, News, Standings

(AP)-The Protestants entered Saturday's final regular season week against the Catholics ranked No. 1 in the Western Division for the first time since 1979, and with the help of closer David Trimble, walked away with a 8-4 win. The Catholics, who are no longer a perennial title contender, entered the final week unranked and without playoff hopes for the first time in five years.

Buddhism and Traditional Chinese continued a see-saw battle for dominancy in the Asian Division, the Buddhists, aided by a flawless performance by the Dalal Lama, who pitched a perfect game, defeated the T.C. 2-0. The Buddhists have extended their divisional lead to 5 games, with a 4 home game series in Tibet commencing Monday.

In other news, United Islam, still reeling from the loss of Hamas designated hitter Abdel Aziz Rantisi against Judaism last April, hammered a heated 8-7 victory over Hinduism, the final game of a 4-0 sweep this week. Pakistani Islamic 1st baseman Choudhary Shujahat Hussain scored 3 runs on 5 at bats with 5 RBI's, helped in handing Hindu starter Rao K. Sudarshan his first 4 straight game series loss since 2002.

Western Division W L Pct GB Home Road

Protestant 75 53 .586 - 43-21 32-32
Catholic 59 70 .457 17 36-30 23-40
Pentecostal 49 80 .380 27 29-50 20-30
Jehovas W. 11 121 .083 82 11-0 0-121

Middle Eastern Division W L Pct GB Home Road

United Islam 85 44 .689 - 42-23 43-21
Hinduism 61 67 .477 18 33-30 28-37
Judaism 41 89 .315 37 20-45 21-44
Sikism 11 41 - - - -

Asian Division W L Pct GB Home Road

Buddhism 75 54 .581 - 39-25 36-29
Chinese/trad 71 60 .542 5 38-29 33-31
Confucinism 55 74 .426 20 31-35 24-39
Shinto 40 90 .311 35 20-45 21-44

Independent Division W L Pct GB Home Road

Unitarianism 66 63 .512 - 33-33 33-30
Scientology 61 67 .477 4 33-30 28-37
Rastafarianism 60 68 .469 5 32-31 28-37
Neo-Paganism 55 72 .433 10 30-34 25-38

Games Today:

Catholics vs. Protestants, 1:00 P.M. - B.Lennon (9-4) vs. D.Trimble (9-1)
Judaism vs. U.Islam 1:00 P.M. - A.Sharon (4-8) vs. S.Hussein (7-2) ::pstpd:: 4:00 P.M. (car bombing)

Unitarianism vs. Rastafarianism 4:00 P.M. - W.Sinkford (8-8) vs. B.Marley (1-12)
Scientology vs. Confucinism 4:00 P.M. - L.R. Hubbard (3-7) vs X.Cheng (8-0)
Shinto vs. Neo-Paganism - cancelled, rain

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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