Red scarf wearing Susan Boyle fanatics were last night celebrating the election of their new leader. Lord Kraptakular The Greatest was crowned late last night after a landslide victory of 4.3 million votes, despite there being only two registered voters. The job offers an improved salary, and a generous banning allowance.
The previous chief fanatic is taking an extended vacation, presumably to get a decent haircut.
"I had personally banned over 6000 members, so they had to vote for me!" grinned Lord Greatest. "I pledge to keep on banning!"
"All hail the chief, for he knows best!" said some generic non-specific brainwashed fanatic with a cat.
"We will pray for the new leader, and bless his ban button!" said The Clappies.
A party is being organised in Lord Greatest's honor.
"We are currently deciding on whether to serve cheese sandwiches or ham sandwiches. Our members are discussing this now, and we expect to have a decision sometime in 2017," said another fanatic.
Meanwhile, it was announced that the member's Tacky Gift Shop was due to start selling Lord Kraptakular The Greatest figurines, but had to withdraw them at the last minute. "They weren't anywhere near as good looking as me, and I have a far bigger package!" boasted the great man himself.