Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Pope, Reality TV

Monday, 5 April 2010

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Kate plus eight did it. D-lister Kathy Griffin is doing it. Sarah Palin is rumored about to do one and Levi Johnston says, "Good idea, grandma!" and will also do a reality show. So the Pope (who may or may not be out of a job soon and in need of a new gig) has also been blessed by the reality show bug.

Opening a restaurant isn't realistic as there are plenty of pizza joints around and it isn't quite upscale enough for the former head of the Vatican, who (as Eddie Izzard pointed out) had Michaelangelo as his interior decorator.

The Pope says the accusation of child abuse is "petty gossip" promoted by the media. The media? Like The Spoof had anything to do with the church's child abuse scandal? The Magdalene Sisters Laundry in Ireland was also "petty gossip" until the rumors became fact.

As head of the Vatican office dealing with sex abuse cases, if the Pope ignored the memos, he was incompetent. If he read the memos and continued to transfer pedophiles to other parishes, his actions were criminal.

While the Pope isn't too convincing, he needs an articulate spokesperson to deal with the situation. Since Ari Fleischer, (who recently bailed out on Tiger Woods) was so successful as former President George Bush's spokesperson, maybe he would be available and could come to the Pope's aid. The daily accusations and calling it "petty gossip" smacks of a Watergate cover up; or at least: At this point in time.

Singer Sinead O'Connor, (a critic of the church) suggested in a telephone interview on MSNBC, that the world should stop attending church until the Pope directly addresses the issue of pedophilia in his church.

Maybe not. A far, far better way to whiplash the church into action would be to halt contributions to the coffers. If the choice is selling off pieces of the Sistine Chapel ceiling or getting rid of the Pope, it would be a done deal. White smoke would be shooting out of that chimney like an intercontinental ballistic missile.

And hello to the Pope's reality show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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