Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Police, Monkey, Thailand

Friday, 2 April 2010

image for Thai Police Adopt A Monkey
Ello Ello Ello!

Police in the southern Thai province of Yala have adopted a pig-faced macaque monkey named Apetrees in an attempt to improve relations with the predominantly Muslim - and invariably upset about something or other - public.

Police Chief Hitmay Wivyar Rithumstik came up with the idea when the monkey was found by the roadside having been twatted by a passing car which was probably being driven by a bent copper.

Rithumstik suggested dressing the monkey up in a police uniform and taking it out on the beat, a surprising tactic perhaps, but one which went down really well with the leery citizens of Yala.

"The people love Apetrees," cop Lie Kee Stenders told us. "He's a right little mischief maker, and with his different uniforms the people are never sure whether it's him or not. The locals, especially the miserable fuckas down the market are always complaining about him, but they love him really."

We asked Officer Stenders if Apetrees had any special tricks in his repertoire with which to entertain the locals?

"Why aye man," Officer Stenders laughed. "He starts off, reet, and he gans roond in a geet big circle. Then he gans faster and faster, roond an' roond, faster and faster, roond an'roond like - an then he disappears up his urn arse man! Then he pops reet up agin, laughin' like. The puntahs luvvit! Miserable bastads."

Indeed.

More as we get it. But probably not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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