WASHINGTON: The US is finally fed up with Pakistan's lies and duplicity and appears to have come to its senses. Facing decimation in the upcoming mid-term elections the Obama Administration is pulling one final rabbit out of its hat. Spokesman Robbie Fibbs is reported to have said:
"We know we're going to have our asses smacked this November. The Afghan pull-out was our biggest mistake. America lives for wars so we have to move the war theater elsewhere. The Bushites should have gone into Pakistan because that is where all the trouble begins and ends. Those Pak suckers have bled us dry and we were wrong to have cosied up to them".
House Speaker Nancee Faloosi and Tea-bagger Scarah Palin - in a rare show of unity went on Foxy news to make a tandem-statement:
"America must continue the war on war because that's the only way we know how to function. Our new combined jobs plan includes shipping all teens ages 13 and up to the Pak front to fight the new war. They've had good practice with violent video war games so we're ready. That's how my son made himself war-ready"
Asked if the recent request from Indian-Americans to declare Pakistan a terrorist state had any bearing on this 180-degree turn, Mz Palin checked her palm-notes and said:
"As a nation we'd be fools to dump on the Indians - we'd lose them to the commie Russians and I tell ya I can see Russia when I'm sittin' on the can (wink-wink). We can't afford that. So we are goin' where no GOP dared to go - it's Pakistan or bust"
Prez Obambi will hold a Rose Garden conference later today
to officially declare that "A new war front has begun".
In Pawkisstawn - the paranoid Army-mullah-media combine went into hyperactive overdrive threatening to unleash its entire nuclear arsenal on India-Israel-Afghanistan and all US interests everywhere.
In Beijing Chinese party officials heaved a sigh of relief:
"Feeew, we so rucky to escaping that one fo' now - maybe all munee we pay Pak-Taliban hewping us fo now".