Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Jesus Ate Last Supper At Fast-Food Restaurant
"I'd Like A Big Mack, With No Pickle and Mayo But Extra Tomatoes, Please"

Jerusalem, Israel - An exciting new archaeological discovery from the the Holy Land proves the Last Supper was eaten at a local Burger Queen. Biblical historians previously believed the simple meal of wine and bread was eaten at a private home. Instead, Jesus and the twelve Apostles pigged-out on burgers, fries, onion rings and Cokes at the Burger Queen in East Jerusalem.

Archaeologists were able to reconstruct exactly what Jesus and his followers ate on Holy Thursday. Jesus ordered a Double Mack, with no pickles and mayo but extra tomatoes. No wine was on sale, so He ordered a large Diet Coke instead. He also wanted the fries to be super-sized.

The other Apostles had similar orders, except for Judas, who was a vegan. Judas acted like a complete prick and insisted on lecturing the fast-food clerk on the evils of eating meat and the virtues of vegetarianism. He ordered a salad with French dressing, just hours before making the worst betrayal in human history. Judas was a typical vegan creep.

During the cheap dinner, Jesus raised a hamburger bun above His head and turned it into His body. He then raised a Diet Coke and turned it into His blood. Everyone soon lost their appetite and left the Burger Queen. The rest is history.

The new archaeological discovery is already making major changes in almost every Christian religion. Burger Queen is teaming up with the Vatican to open franchises at all Catholic churches.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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