Written by joel benitos
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Charity, Mosquito

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

A campaign website driven by the passion of it's donors who donate money to buy mosquito nets for the African child, has reported in a finding that in most instances the nets are cut into 4 by 6 and 10 by 10 pieces to be used respectively by children and ignorant adults as bath sponges.

This report comes as a disappointment to the charity founders who lobby hard for the children of Africa to have some protection from the deadly malaria disease which claims about a million young lives a year only for their efforts to be subjected to the contempt of scummy bathwater.

"You know, if we wanted cleaner African children we would be doing a 'one small bathtub per child' campaign," said a visibly irritated Jamie, communications director of the worthy cause.

George Abayomi, a volunteer for the organisation named Ugandan as the worst affected in the east African region but quickly moved on to explain countries like Bulungu and Bayengele are "just as terrible".

"Not that I have anything against the Ugandans but it's time we call a spade a spade and to be honest, they are the worst violators thus far," he added.

Ashton Kutcher's led Twitter-celeb mosquito nets programme which plans to provide 600 million nets by 2010 was re-considering strategy.

"Maybe we should aim for a billion fly swats," suggested a top aide.

A visit by the NewsYnc-Africa team to verify facts on the ground found out not only was mosquito net misuse widespread amongst the population but the insecticide accompanying it was being used for seed dressing [a chemical application before planting to protect seeds from disease and insects].

On further inquiry, the local Plant and Animal husbandry officer denied the allegations but on production of evidence he admitted these were isolated cases and went on further saying the charity itself was partly to blame.

"They didn't leave any money for training and ten o'clock tea so you can't put blame on us completely"

After a long day our team finally took to the waters of Lake Victoria for a quick dip to counter the mid-afternoon heat when one of us had his leg caught up under something.

"For Chrissake if they could only stop using the mosquito nets for fishing!"

©2009 newsync

Make joel benitos's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 5?

5 1 13 6

Go to top