The Spoof's main man in Moscow, fine English gentleman, distant relative of Kim Philby (but not Gay) and loves a cuppa, Earl Grey, had to dive for cover in Moscow after terrorists attempted to blow the decrepid underground into oblivion today.
Suicide bombers attacked Moscow and the Spoof sent Sir Earl downtown to find out what the fuck was going down.
Whilst entering a Moscowite Subway sandwich store miles away from the subway which had just been bombed, Earl, detected a suspicious looking 98 year old Hag sitting in the corner of the Subway with a rather thickened waistline and one yellow protruding tooth.
She smiled at Earl rather loopily and then our dastardly top-undercover agent dived for cover, slid on the greasy floor towards the suspicious Hag, landed under her rather grubby, vodka-stained attire attempting to get a glimpse of her rather thick waistline, then he passed out!
The smell was too much and the Hag rapidly exited the establishment, leaving her thickened waistline behind consisting of used toilet paper and greasy plastic bags (winters are harsh in Moscow).
Earl recovered in time to see the local news on TV, only to find out that Spoof headquarters had sent him to the wrong Subway (well after all it's only a Spoof you know ol Bean!).