Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin has a collossal headache this morning after being pulled from the wreckage of a suicide bombed subway car. He was treated at the scene and left with a small bandage on his forehead and contusions on his face and nose caused by what police are says was a 'flying vagina.'
Sources say it left a readable impression on Mr. Putin's forhead.
Early this morning a female suicide bomber struck a train loaded with early morning commuters as it headed into down town Moscow, shrapnel, glass, and the bomber's body parts did considerable damage and claimed over 50 lives in two separate incidents. Subway officials say two female suicide bombers were involved in two separate incidents.
Political rivals have dubbed the incident as part of a retaliatory effort by Muslim separatists and have vowed to apprehend the persons involved. Rival leader Nickolai Benachenko also vowed not to refer to Putin as a 'cunt head' in the future and sends his condolences.