The wine flowed in pace with the bread and fish in Leogone Haiti today. Jesus served the multitudes while Mohammed moved the mountains of debris from the earthquake ravaged country to the delight of the deserving population whose hopelessness is second only to their bad luck.
After sated the 5 million impassioned poor people who attended sat intently as each deity presented a short sermon telling them the apocalypse is still scheduled for 12-21-2012 and to keep the faith, be nice to one another, and continue to do good deeds.
After the amazing event both Mohammed and Jesus agreed to a quick interview although the former asked no photographs be taken and the later wished God to be referred to as 'I Am' so as not to prejudice toward any particular faith.
What do you think of Obama rescheduling the apocalypse went to Jesus?
"I am sure it was a mistake and I forgive him but 'I Am' is a bit pissed."
When asked if Jesus had any ill feelings toward the Jews:
"Duh, I am a Jew. If you want to have more rules about 'I Am' than the IRS tax code go for it. If you want to keep it simple with the commandments and do unto others that works too."
Mohammed fielded the next question on the future fate of terrorists such as Osama bin Laden and as usual he did not disappoint:
"I don't see 72 virgins in their afterlife future; more like 72 lead pipe swinging Virginians getting medieval on their ass." Funny, he didn't laugh.
Finally we asked if 'I AM' had given up on us and Mohammed took the final question of the day:
"No it's all on a timeline. There is a planet in the Pegasus galaxy 'I AM' is just about done terra forming where your replacements will have another shot at the 'favored above all' title."
Just like that the two icons floated toward the clouds where the multitudes cheered and waved.
Unfortunately Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and George Bush Sr heard of the miraculous event and not wanting to miss the face time scrambled for the once in everyone's lifetime opportunity. They assembled a score of planes, packaged up food, medicine, and supplies and then air dropped them to the location. 32,457 were crushed immediately in the melee and an unknown number suffered a myriad of injuries as they frantically tried to escape the death manna from the skies.