Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Church leaders argue over start of the week
Look, I started on a Thursday, okay?

Easter is the biggest festival of the Christian Calendar. Although children prefer Christmas, Easter lasts four days not one, and Chocolate eggs can be eaten to excess. Approaching this most sacred of weekends, a massive row has broken out in the Catholic church over which day is the start of the week, threatening to throw Easter into the shade.

Bishop Leon Bash of the York Diocese started the whole furore in a letter to his congregation, hinting that the start of the week was a Monday, and not, as many previously believed, Sunday.

"As far as I'm concerned, as the Lord rested on the seventh day, and that is Sunday, the week has to start on a Monday," said Bash. "Jewish people rest on Saturday. They believe that the week starts on a Sunday, so any Christians who disagree, must secretly harbour desires to be Jewish."

According to a spokesman for the Vatican, they are reticent to indicate which day is the official start of the Christian week.

"It is not in our interests to give a definitive statement on the start of the week," said Angelo De Ville of Vatican PR plc.

Internal documents reveal why. In Genesis, the acts that the Christian/Jewish god performed on each day are clearly identified. If the week started on a Monday, then humans were created as a last minute rush job on a Saturday after already doing a full day's overtime creating all the other animals. However, if the week started on a Sunday, then Humans are a Friday Afternoon Job.

Either way you look at it, it explains a lot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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