GUANTANIMO BAY, CUBA -- The Obama Administration has announced the closing of Camp X-Ray and the opening of a new, cutting edge prison for the detaining, interrogation, and disciplining of terrorists and other petulant monkeys.
The facility is called Bitch School
The top secret facility will feature an intensive interrogation/rehabilitation program where terrorists will be subjected to the tender mercies of headmistress Olga Von Peterbender, former proctologist to the crowned heads of Europe.
At Bitch School, captured Al Qaeda Operatives will endure a year-long intensive program of daily enemas, visits to the "Leather Room", and a recreation program.
"That iss to say," Madame Von Peterbender told reporters, "it vill be recreational for USSSSSSS!" Von Peterbender, a strapping aryan woman who is well over six feet tall with platinum blonde hair and a paten leather jumpsuit, brings pupils of Bitch School to heel with a highly distinctive CRACK of her leather riding crop against her thigh.
Abdul Hashish Mushasha, the first "pupil" to be enrolled in Bitch School, told the Spoof, "Praise be Allah, I am so goddam terrified! Just this morning I've had thirteen coffee enemas and been whipped with an extension chord! That woman is EVIL . . . someday I'm going to marry her."
However, this interview was caught short by the superloud burst of Madame Von Peterbender's characteristic "ACHTUNG, SHWEIN!!!" The terrorist the urinated usbmissively and shuffled off to his morning session of "Guess Who's Going To Get a Cucumber Up His Ass?"
When asked whether or not this measure seemed extreme, President Obama said, "Not at all. After all, it worked wonders on me! Madame on Peterbender is the best dominatrix, er, I mean administrator there is!"
Bitch School is now open for business, for all the cheeky little monkeys.