Written by Bill Licks
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Topics: The Spoof, China

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

image for China opens its doors to The Spoof
China - The centre of the Spoof writing revolution

The people of China woke up today to a whole new world of internet browsing when Google stopped censoring its search results.

Immediately hits on porn sites across the globe were up by 1 million per cent as the Chinese celebrated their new found freedom by discovering the delights of Jenna Jameson and one of this reporter's personal favourites, Carmella Bing.

Surprisingly, satirical websites also received a lot more traffic than usual and topping the list was the site that hosts Britain and America's finest group of talented writing geniuses, The Spoof.

The foundations of the Great Wall of China rocked as the sound of a billion laughing Chinese people rippled across the country. Top Spoof contributor Skoob1999 received an astonishing 10 million points in one day and Bargis Tryhol's penis stories were awarded so many 5 stars that he vowed never to write another story unless it contained 'penis' in the title.

Spoof editor Mark Lowton was inundated with thousands of new members registering and contributing their hilarious takes on topical news stories with an Oriental flavour.

Most popular were Ming E Master's story about Cheryl Cole being caught in public with a pair of bollocks on her chin - that's Mr Chin, her personal Chinese chef and his tiger's testicles that he was serving up for her lunch. And Cream Of Sum Yung Guy's rib tickling anecdote about Robert Pattison eating Kirsten Stewart's pussy - followed by a barbequed dog, a deep fried rat and washed down with a glass of Jiu as the pair celebrated the Chinese year of the Tiger.

News of the Chinese revolution has revatalised the creative juices of Colonel Juan who is currently busy penning six stories about stunning Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi.

Meanwhile Lynton admitted his love of language did not stop at English, he is also fluent in Mandarin. However, his two attempts to write an article for the Spoof in Mandarin have yet to be published as unfortunately Mark Lowton's knowledge of Chinese is only at the level of just about understanding the menu of his local Chinese takeaway.

Even Spectrum has promised to add punctuation marks to his stories in an effort to help educate the new Chinese readers and improve their English. He told the Spoof, 'Sometimes people find it hard to understand what I write when I leave out commas although I don't know why as commas are just there for people who cant read for too long without taking a breath and Im an expert in that I dont need to take a breath when Im talking so why do I need to take a breath when Im reading but just for those Chinese people I might put in the odd full stop here and the odd punctuation mark there but its only for the benefit of the Chinese and Im not doing it for any other reason'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

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