Peter Crouch the worlds tallest football player, who should really have been a basketball player, wants to go out with Kelly Crabtree, alias Tupele Dorgu, alias Big Bird.
Big Bird recently departed from Coronation Street,to rejoin Sesame Street, after she stole confidential information from her place of employment Underworld the knickers factory,
what a Bird Brain.
Crouch says he really needs a girlfriend that he does not have to Crouch down to so that he can kiss. With a girl as tall as Big Bird, at last Crouch can actually kiss and look into her eyes at the same time.
It seems like a perfect match really.