Ballybollox, Co Louse - (Omerta Mess): It's the stuff of nightmares alright. And today a leading trainer/stud manager refused to apologise for a dodgy cover-up at the Ballybollox Stud where Irish Whorse Welfare Truss sorcerers say the IRA shot and buried legendary 1982 Epsom Derby winner Shergar.
"We're very sorry, of course, for this bestial mess," the equine whorse-whisperer commented.
"But we're all sworn to secrecy until blood tests confirm our leading Group 2 winning sire Papal Bull has in fact successfully inseminated broodmare Catspraddle, the two timing winner by High Yield, from the family of Holy Roman Emperor."
Papal Bull, a fabulous Monjeu progeny, is the winner of over $600,000 in prize money including Royal Ascot's Group 2 Princess of Wales's Stakes and King Edward VII Stakes, and classy runner-up in the Group 1 King George VI and Queen Elizabeth Stakes.
Holy Roman Emperor stands at the Bullmore Stud where he was a 2007 shoo-in following the disastrous failure of leading stallion George Bush-in-Washington.
The son of Danehill became the laughing stock of the Irish whorse-breeding industry when it was discovered he was shooting blanks at the start of his stallion career.
He was quietly euthanised following a setback in the Breeders Cup in a hushed-up controversy that claimed rival runner Dickless Chainee accidentally kneed him in the gonads, rendering him impotent.
There's only one Lester Piggot.