Written by Karen Leone
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Topics: Terrorism, Dogs

Saturday, 20 March 2010

image for Islamic Extremists Issue Fatwa Against Naughty American Poodle

San Francisco- Incensed Islamic extremists issued a fatwa early this evening against an American Muslim Poodle accused of breeding with an infidel St. Bernard named Herb. "Crystal," the Standard Poodle in question, "has been seeing Herb at a local dog park on and off for several months," said the courtesan canine's owner, who strenuously requested anonymity. "One afternoon I lost sight of her... one thing led to another and, well, you know…"

Crystal, who apparently is quite shaken by recent developments and peed on the kitchen floor upon hearing news of the fatwa, has been moved to an undisclosed location for her protection. "Usually only thunderstorms and vacuums scare her, but this is something completely unexpected and worrisome," said her visibly frightened owner, who also peed on the floor when the fatwa was issued.

Honor killings in the canine community are quite rare, but have been known to occur. Just 6 months ago, a female Shitzu named Sadie, who, at the urging of her decidedly effeminate owner, Edward, allegedly ditched her burqa for a diamond-studded tiara, was purposefully flattened by an Al Qaeda operative driving an 18 wheel semi.

No word yet from PETA, and an unnamed source suggested that a statement should not be expected. "Look, we love animals. But throwing paint on unsuspecting Jewish women in fox furs is one thing, standing up to violent Muslim extremists is quite another."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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