Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Teachers

Friday, 19 March 2010

image for Education 'chip' to be implanted into newborns
This has nothing to do with the story, I just think John Terry is so 'cute'. Don't you?

A teacher has at last spoken out against a faceless body. Tired of parents complaining of the language used in their children's report cards, this teacher has had enough.

Apparently, like everything else, language used in writing report cards is 'standardized'. The children have to do standardized tests and parents are sick of it all.

Are their children 'standardized'? OF COURSE NOT!

Having said that, a teacher in Canada somehow got hold of a Secret Document belonging to the Ministry of Education.

After reading it the teacher, who wishes to remain anonymous, did a number of things. She:

1) Wrote down the Main Idea

2) Made inferences from the text

3) Made 'connections' from the text to her own life

4) Described the characteristics of the main
'conspirators' using evidence from the text

5) Made a list of 'new vocabulary'

6) Stuck little yellow 'post its' on on the pages
she wished to re-read

7) Used her pink highlighter to highlight bits she
didn't agree with

8) Sent it to the Principal's office

9) Gave it a detention

And last but not least, she made photocopies to give out to her colleagues and any other interested parties, using up her monthly photocopying allowance of 2,000 pages.

The teacher appeared in silhouette on a local t.v. news programme and described some of what she had read.

Apparently, newborns are now to be fitted with a microscopic education chip within 4 hours of their birth.

This will be a 'slow release' education chip.

The chip is NOT standardized. There are a number of styles and a choice of 'levels of education to be achieved'.

The particular chip to be used on a new born will be determined by a governing body of beaurocrats who know diddly squat about kids or teaching.

Choice of chip will be based on a number of factors:

Socio-economic status of family

Sex

Ethnicity

Number of fingers and toes of individual

Eye colour

And too many more to list here.

The document also stated that if parents are able to scrape enough money together before the birth of their child, they will, indeed, be able to 'upgrade' their child's designated chip in order to give their child a 'better chance' in life.

The teacher who 'found' the document, and her colleagues, are concerned about losing their jobs.

The teacher is also rather angry that these chips were not available in 1979, when she had her first child. She said she would have done ANYTHING to get enough money to have a top notch 'educational chip' implanted into her first born in order that she could become Prime Minister of Canada and thereby change the whole bloody educational system for the sake of the kids. (That's a pretty long run-on sentence isn't it? Oh well!)

More to follow as this story unfolds.

Make Lady Godiva's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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