Dennis Kucinich, the first Pygmy ever voted into the House of Representatives, a man so small even Nicolas Sarkozy has to bend over to talk to him, continued his progressive ways by bowing to Obama's oppressive health care bill after being treated to a ride in Air Force I, where he was allowed to sit on the pilot's lap during take of and landing.
As mayor of Cleveland (!) Dennis the Menace almost had to call out the national guard due to the dissension his polices caused, and even had a contract hit put on him by the mafia which was later rescinded by the hitter with a conscience who refused to "kill a man who obviously isn't in possession of his faculties."
After being drummed out of office, to the surprise of no one, he migrated to California and wound up working as a yard boy at the home of Shirley MacClaine, the actress of some note. Together they experienced first hand mind numbing UFO sightings, and Dennis first stated, and then denied, he had been abducted and adopted as a house pet by Romulans, before earning his release.
According to Dennis, then followed 'the lost years' where he wandered the desert of New Mexico before miraculously returning to Ohio to begin his political career anew, and obviously bringing along a goodly supply of 'magic mushrooms' he had cultivated during his self imposed exile from reality.
Dennis was so successful, that in 1982 he filed a US tax return claiming he earned $38 for the entire year, a fact that obviously made him qualified to run for President of the United States at least twice on a platform of fiscal responsibility.
His early supporters included Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine Fame, and a host of Follywood air heads, including bleeding hemorrhoid Sean Penn.
No wonder Dennis signed a letter of support for Hugo Chavez in 2004.
Since being elected to the House in 1997, the 64 year old, now the World's shortest man, since that Chinese guy just died, has been on the left side of the sphere in everything he proposes.
Naturally he's against the death penalty, handguns for ANYONE, any kind of nuclear defense, and sanctions for Iran but FOR same sex marriage,
legalization of drugs, climate change, reparations for Iraq, and for the creation of a new cabinet position in the White House, "The Department of Peace."
Bush detractors loved him because he proposed a measure to impeach the President as well as Dick Cheney, but voted against impeaching Bill Clinton.
There was no real surprise today then, when in attempting to hold the nation spellbound with what he thought was his golden moment, he took what seemed like hours to announce what his record already told us, "I'm voting 'Yes' for the Obamacare bill. But I really don't like it."
Insiders say that according to the new health bill, Kucinich WILL BE eligible for growth hormones, mental health care, medical marijuana and even free abortion funding should he manage to get into little Cheryl Cole's pants even if only in his dreams.
If voter indignation is any indicator, Dennis may need an abortion if he accomplishes what his constituents want, and manages to impregnate himself.