Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Mexico, Tourists

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

image for Not Going Loco Down In Acapulco
Pass Us The Nivea Love - Me Arse's On Fire!

Mexico's President Calderon was reported to be apopleptic last night as the escalation of the country's drug cartel wars impacted tourist areas, such as Acapulco on the Pacific coast, where seventeen people met particularly gruesome deaths over the weekend.

President Calderon's fears that the bloodshed will have a negative effect on the tourism industry, and thus a knock-on effect on the Mexican economy, appear to be well founded, as tourists either stay away, or cancel vacations in their hordes.

Jeff Oxblood, of the US Tourism Protectorate told us that American people only wanted to go to Mexico for genuine tacos, burritos, and fajitas, and maybe some eye candy that they can't afford on the beaches. He told us that they certainly had no desire to travel south to see bullet riddled and decapitated corpses.

"I don't blame people for not going down there," Oxblood told us. "Even if our citizens don't get robbed, kidnapped or murdered they don't want to be spending their valuable vacation time stepping over blood soaked corpses."

On the other side of the Atlantic, in Burnley, England, Jack Isherwood announced that he would be taking his family to Acapulco, despite the threat posed by the warring drug cartels.

"To be honest with you," he said. "The drug wars don't really bother me. What did make me have second thoughts about Mexico was the amount of Jalapenos and them other really hot chillies they lace their grub with. I was a bit concerned by the prospect of having a burning arse for a fortnight, but one of the lads at work said you can have stuff as spicy or as not spicy as you like. So it's Acapulco here we come!'*

* BA strike action permitting.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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