Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Sex, Teachers, Nurses

Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Dutch Nurses Say "No" to Providing Sex to Patients, Female UK Teachers say "Not So Fast!"
"Ya, Mate! I'm Ready to Go Back To School! Good Sex innit?"

A looming battle is building momentum as a Dutch Nurses Union has taken a stand against 'handing out' sexual favours to patients, while a new Female Teachers Union in the UK says they WANT to provide sexual gratification for male students with 'special needs" under basic EU tenants for Human Rights.

The case has come to the forefront after a Dutch nurse was removed from home care duties after a 42 year old male patient, named Frankie J in reports, claimed she refused to provide sexual gratification as part of his therapy, while previous nurses had provided 'a helping hand.'

Dutch Nurses' Union #91 has come out against the the action, saying that Sexual Comfort to their patients was 'not in their job description" and that any such mandated action could lead to ' Carpal Tunnel Syndrome' affecting their tennis stroke.

Meanwhile in the UK, after a spate of sensational recent events revealed a number of female administrators and teachers, as well as a government minister in Scotland, had conducted torrid affairs with male students and young workers, some as young as 16, a union representing this new class of predators has formed and is growing rapidly in membership.

As more and more 30 something and middle aged females in a position to exploit young men come out of the closet, observers say it only reveals a deeper problem in the UK, one exposed recently where women say they are faking orgasms due to the lack of accomplished lovers their own age.

One teacher who has come out and joined the union says candidly, " I married too young, and within a few years sex had lost it's meaning, and certainly any pleasure for me. Of course it didn't help that I found out my husband was gay all the while and carrying on with any number of footballers. Bastard!"

Calling themselves " Union Women for Sexual Freedom', (UWSF) the group has petitioned the EU Council of Ministers to have child sex laws rewritten so that having sex with a student under their charge will no longer be a crime, but indeed an expression of 'Basic Human Rights".

The Union is seeking compensation for their compassion and a stipend for each child whose 'special needs' they fulfill.

PM Gordon Brown says he is 'keepin' an eye on the emerging situation."

According to a Youth Services Minister there has been a rise in interest amongst street yobs to quit their anti social ways, and re enroll in school so they may 'round out their education.'

Additional Funding For No Child Left Unsatisfied is pending legislation.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

6 11 4 18
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top