Follyood actor and activist Sean Penn was on hand today to award his idol and mentor Hugo Chavez the coveted 'Golden Bullet Award' for presiding over South America's deadliest city.
The smiling Penn, always effusive in his support for the Narco Dictator who has run his country into the ground during the 11 years of his iron fisted rule, reiterated again his unwavering support for Chavez, while calling for the incarceration of his critics.
Repeating his call to jail all dissidents railing against Chavez, first seen on HBO on 'Real Time with Bill Maher', Penn said, "this is a man who has worked hard to get to this pinnacle. Just think, it took 11 long years for El Presidente to quadruple the murder rate in Venezuela against all opposition and incredible odds!'
Next to Ciudad Juarez in Mexico, Caracas is now the most murderous city in the souther hemisphere.
Murder rates were calculated by the independent Venezuelan Conservatory of Violence, (VCC) since the government has ceased to function and no longer keeps any meaningful records.
Officials from the VCC blame the increased violence on a weakened judicial system which Chavez has intimidated after calling them out at his state of the union address (ED. Note: Say WHAT?), and a corrupt police force which is proud of their 9 % clearance rate on ALL crimes, and a 0% clearance on homicides.
Reporters from Rolling Stone and The Village Voice, the only papers Penn would talk to since he has outstanding restraining orders on him due to multiple physical attacks on the media dating back to his punishing marriage to Madonna, asked him if it was true he would soon be co producing a docu-drama in Venezuela glorifying El Presidente.
"Abso-fucking-lutely," the articulate well mannered actor stated. "We've got the screen play ready to go, we're waiting for Danny Glover to clear up prior commitments, and as soon as Cage clears up some misunderstandings with the fascist IRS we should be ready to roll!"
Penn said he was confidant that President Obama and first lady Michelle would appear in cameo walk on roles at Chavez's next inauguration making him President for Life.
Just passing through on his way to a tropical island for his next assignment, Spoof Reporter Earl Grey asked Penn if he thought there would be enough electricity available for the filming due to the nation's dire shortage, and whether or not the hundreds of support crew flying in from the US would have to bring their own food , also due to Chavez's appropriation of all independent and privately owned businesses, leaving the nation to starve and remain totally in the dark.
Luckily for Earl, who had just completed an interview with Chavez a day earlier, a horde of people who heard a local government owned market had just received their ration of week old bread disrupted the impending confrontation, and he was able to slip away and head to the airport to a destination yet unnamed due to security concerns.
After the commotion settled down, Penn swore an oath against all who would not support Chavez's 'good works', blamed the US for the Haiti earthquake, and swore "all those people should die of rectal cancer."
Larry King is said to have been speechless, but Glen Beck called Penn just another 'Hollywood Hemorrhoid" now eligible for treatment under 'Obamacare.'