Written by Jalapenoman
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Wednesday, 10 March 2010

image for All Moslems Turn Into Water Overnight
Osama had no comment on his transformation

In a strange, miraculous occurance that scientists are unable to explain, all of the Moslems in the world were turned into water at exactly 6:00 a.m., GMT. Persons who witnessed this said that "all at once, there was a six foot tall pillar of water standing in front of me. It seemed to waver for a second, and then collapsed onto the ground.

Chemical analysis of the water from different persons find that it is chemically "just water" with no biologicals involved or included. Scientists say that it is as pure as "the best laboratory quality distilled water."

The disappearance of this large amount of people has depopulated the middle east, much of Africa and Asia, and a significant percentage of Europe. Social Scientists project a new world order as persons from many countries are scrambling to make a claim on the now unoccupied lands, homes, businesses, and territories (and oil wells).

Religious historians say that this most closely resembles the turning of Lot's wife into a pillar of salt, though they cannot explain what would occur to turn almost one billion Moslems into pillars of water. Said Prof. Hyrum Abrahams of Harvard Divinity School, "I doubt that it was some kind of Islamic rapture."

Both practicing and non-practicing Moslems seemed to be affected by the phenomenon, while non-Moslems in Moslem parts of the world were not.

Researchers hope to have an answer, while governments the world over have dropped their terrorist threats to the lowest level since the 9/11 airplane incidents. Soldiers in Iran and Afghanistan also expressed relief at being able to take off their armour and bullet proof vests.

In a related note, the United States has reported President Barack Obama missing. First Lady Michelle Obama said that "I woke up in the middle of the night and discovered that our bed was wet. I'd assumed my husband had an accident and went to the bathroom, but he hasn't been seen since.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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