Jupitor, Florida - Ahead of a conference with President Obama, NASA officials launched a pre-emptive strike designed to show their seriousness in efforts to reduce costs to the space program.
The new shuttle program will recycle old aircraft from Juneau, Alaska and '57 Chevrolets will be filled with solid rocket fuel to act as launch rockets. Then to fulfill the George Bush plan of reaching Mars they will build a space station on the moon made entirely of Laura Bushes paneled girdles and brazeers. From this station they will build a Mars space vehicle using aluminum from MREs and Canada Dry Gingerale bottles. The cost of this program 32 Trillion dollars.
"This is just a fraction of what the cost would be if we built it here on earth using all of the science and technology we can bring to bear," said chief NASA engineers, "We pride ourselves on our ingenuity in cost cutting, without sacrificing safety."
Additional cost cutting will come in using astronauts with no previous training, such as Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. Both were particularly interested in the program when they learned they would be going naked without space suits. "Wow, I said," says Lindsay, "Like to be weightless with no clothing must be like such a high, like..."
"Yes!" said Miley, "This ship will rock, I mean I think the critics who say we need heat shielding are just jealous!"