The US administration were struggling to explain how one of its largest armoured divisions had completely razed the Iranian capital, despite the official line still being that diplomacy was the sole agenda with Iran. In an emergency address to the nation, President Obama was quick to emphasise that this was not the opening move of any official offensive.
Even the commander of the division involved, Major Lee Fubar, denied that the incident was intentional, claiming they had accidentally attacked Tehran in their sleep. "To most folks this will sound kinda weird, but you need to understand the pressure that we've been under. I have a great team of men and I sure do train them hard. We were based just over the border in Iraq and we've been rehearsing an invasion for when... I mean if, obviously... well, that's all a little late now anyway. The thing is, I told my men that we were going to train for this so hard that we'd be able to do it in our sleep... looks like the training worked a little too well."
Asked about the scenes of devastation around him, Fubar commented, "The massive loss of life is a touch unfortunate, but I have to say, to the boys credit, they sure kept a tight battle formation, even though they were dozing through the whole operation."
None of the Iranian leadership could be reached for their reaction to the situation, but an international team of aid workers continue to search the debris.
A military expert in charge of explaining strange medical phenomenon was quick to back up the Major's claims. "What the major said is exactly as it happened," he told us. "I can't comment on this matter any further, as I was only just briefed on this new role about an hour ago."
Much of the world's media remain highly skeptical of the US military's explanation, with France's La Merde noting with suspicion that the area showing Iran in Google Earth has been completely covered over by a McDonald's advert for the last 48 hours.