The war on terror has been officially called off in the wake of charges that American Navy SEALs hurt a terrorists feelings, a Pentagon spokesman said in today's briefing.
The three Navy SEALs, facing court-martial for accusations of abusing a terror suspect caught in an ambush killing of U.S. contractors in Iraq, have now been indicted on additional charges of "hurting a terrorist's feelings."
The SEALs -- Special Warfare Operators 2nd Class Matthew McCabe and Jonathan Keefe and Special Warfare Operator 1st Class Julio Huertas -- were part of a team that in September 2009 captured Ahmed Hashim Abed, the suspected plotter behind the murder and mutilation of four Blackwater USA contractors in Fallujah in 2004.
Apparently, unkind things were said during the suspect's interrogation and Ahmed Hashish Inbred, a very sensitive boy already, began crying. As our readers know, this is just intolerable, especially with 3000 Americans murdered by these goat humping bastards in just one day back on 9/11.
U.S. President Baghdad Yomama was quoted as saying, "What is the use of carrying out a war on terror if it hurts terrorists? After all, America had to go and get itself attacked on 9/11. As before, I am siding against my own people." He then apologized to the entire world for America being American, talked about lesbians, solar power and healthcare for an hour, foamed at the mouth and fell over backward. He was nignored.
International response to the hurt feelings of this precious little murderer is enormous, with France leading the way in demanding that all Americans be disemboweled for being better than the French. The French were immediately fed to the Germans, themselves now a Muslim nation.
When reached for comment, the poor little terrorist said, "I want my mommy and my lawyer." He was immediately shot.
The United States will continue its war on terror.