Athens, Greece - The Greek government made a heart-breaking decision today to help solve its financial crisis. The Greeks have sold their beloved Parthenon to an American fast-food giant, Burger Queen. The ancient building will be painted a bright orange colour, just like all the other 10,000 Burger Queens. A drive-thru window will also be installed.
The Greek government sold the Parthenon for only $10 billion. It should be enough money to keep the government running for at least another week. Other European countries are considering selling off their monuments too. France sold the Notre Dame Cathedral to a Saudi-based company yesterday. The cathedral will be turned into a mosque.
Greek citizens were speechless when they learned of the sale. The hallowed ground where Pericles, Socrates and Aristotle walked and pondered deep philosophical questions will be replaced by simpler people asking simpler questions. Queries such as "do you want fries with that?" and "do you want to super size that?" will ring out across the Acropolis instead.
The Burger Queen Corporation is very aware of the cultural loss to Greece, and is planning to smooth the transition of the Parthenon into just another greasy fast-food place. Burger Queen says they will add gyros to the menu.