In a press conference today, a spokesman at the U.K. Ministry of Defence has confirmed growing speculation that Prince Harry (third in line to the British and commonwealth throne) is to become commander of the elite S.A.S, the British army's most revered regiment.
The M.O.D. spokesman, wearing a very nice grey suit, who cannot be named for legal reasons, went on to say that Harry was "Clearly the best man for the job".
He added: - "The prince has already had extensive training in the art of tactical combat despite his young dimina and oddly ginger hair (which initially was thought of as a tactical disadvantage especially in covert night time operations)."
When asked what this training might have entailed during his young life, and indeed how he has managed to fit such training in around his schooling at Eton, the spokesman said; "Let me tell you, Harry is a master tactician, not only did he get someone else to sit his exams for him, whilst outside behind the bike sheds at Eton, having a herbal cigarette, but he managed to escape scott free….a key facet of any SAS operative is escape and evasion".
"He has also spent many an hour preparing for the role… pouring over immensely tactical games, such as subbuteo, domino's and cleudo."
"He has also practiced in the back garden of Buckingham palace with his "super soaker" water pistol, under close supervision from his grandfather and mentor (Prince Philip), known also to be a master tactician and brilliant diplomat."
He continued…"Harry has proven himself in action already, outside a few nightclub's in London with the press, after all staring down the lens of a camera is not that different to a barrel of a gun". "He even disarmed a photographer".
When questioned over the fact that Harry has not yet attended Sandhurst military academy and served any time in the army, and that perhaps this appointment was as a result of his positioning the royal household, the spokesman stated: - "Nonsense! Harry has a real military pedigree", he continued… "After all his father was a Major"……"errrr I mean his grandfather, father and his uncle have all seen service…errrrrrr……in the armed forces."
Comment came later from SAS gulf war veteran and best selling author Andy McNab.
He is quoted as saying: -
"I don't think that this is such a great idea - like"…."for a start he will have nay respect like from tha' lads…"
The SAS regiment themselves refused to comment.