Michelle Obama is said to be considering a forced rehab stint for Barry as his recent physical at Walter Reid Army Hospital has confirmed her worse fears; the Closet Muslim is a Closet Alcoholic!
According to close advisors, Michelle is close to having Barry committed to a famous Beverly Hills Clinic, a decision said to be strongly backed by the country's #2, Joe Biden.
Joe says while he has no personal interest in assuming the position he has coveted for most of his political life, he is willing to take on the mantel of responsibility for the good of the country and for the "President I love!"
Michelle's has been said to be seeking counsel from some of her 24 personal assistants and Chicago Entourage, but is said to be wavering over the commitment scenario, fearing that Barry's OTHER problem, incessant narcissism, may force him to act out his need to be universally loved by some of Hollywood's most famous personalities addicted to shagging now at the same clinic.
It has been said that Michelle has already been involved in at least 16 under the radar exiles of comely White House Aides who the President showed more than a passing fancy. Other insiders cite his predilection to spend less and less time at home with Michelle, preferring to hide aloft in Air Force I for longer and longer periods as indications he can't face the terrible reality of a life time with Michelle and her mother.
The Government Accounting Office, (GAO), in a recent audit of air transport costs for Obama and Pelosi, has pointed out some irregular expenditures for both self centered power hungry moguls.
A detailed liquor list for both indicate they have costly tastes in Champaign, fine Scotch Whiskey, and in Obama's case, the inordinate amount of Ripple Wine, Colt .45 Malt Liquor and Cuban Cigars.
The additional cost of custom made fitted silk sheets for Air Force I has also raised eyebrows, as well as Satellite TV charges for a horde of Porno Flixs rented while the Pres is in the air.
The emaciated President is said to be losing weight, is showing bags under his eyes, and appears to be losing his hair, although Air Force cleaning crews assigned to his flight can't determine if the kinky hairs found on the sheets, in the sink, and near the mini bar are Pubic or not.
This is the first time in Presidential History that a report has been leaked concerning a sitting President's alcohol problem by Medical Staff.
Concerned Historians are now linking the President's lackadaisical behavior, detachment, and listless leadership to his alcohol addiction, and some say it also may indicate his reliance on Medicinal Marijuana most likely supplied to him from California Marijuana emporiums, and facilitated by Pelosi and Barbara Boxer to keep him "sedated" and out of the governing process.
Abandoned Kenyan half brother George, confirms that he feels Barry's 'problem' is hereditary citing their father's drunken death when he ran his car into a tree while working on his socialist manifesto, and fighting off alimony demands by more than a few of his wives.
"Barry used to be able to handle his liquor," George said, " we all started drinking fermented goats' milk at an early age, mostly because we couldn't afford the real stuff. I think he switched to really good Scotch when he went to Harvard under the influence of the Kennedy Mystique, and because those wasps all drank to get over their sexual hang ups. It just probably caught up with him. I hope it works out for him and he can regain his Mojo!"
Another problem, according to a Secret Service team responsible for keeping the mini bar stocked in the White House and Air Force I,, while also changing pictures of Barry every day in his bedroom, library, oval office and in the Senate and House bathrooms, is that the President appears unwilling to recognize he has a problem, the first step to recovery.
One unreported incident allegedly has the President wanting to challenge Sarah Palin to a drinking contest, trying to prove that while he couldn't out shoot her, he was second to none in accuracy and content when it came to a projectile vomiting contest. Rahm Emanuel was said to have scrapped that idea, calling the President a "Drunken F*****g Retard!"
Recent attendees at intimate state dinners have also been shocked by a sloshed Obama proposing international toasts on the most trivial of occasions.
On hearing of the Russians sacking their Olympic Board, Barry is said to have stood on his chair at the head of the table and shouted: Za Vashe Zdorovye', and later a bit closer to home, the famous Zulu Toast: Oogy Wawa! on hearing Van Jones and Charlie Wrangle (sic) had been cleared by the Senate Ethics Committee.
George smiled when he heard about the latter. "Hey, that's the way me an Kalish always started the day! Just a little eye opener to get our motors started. Here, try some of this distilled antifreeze....Oogy Wawa MFer!"