Written by Morse
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Sunday, 28 February 2010

image for Olympic Village Runs out of Condoms; Officials Blame it On "Phuquing Phenomena!!
Night Vision Camera Used by Peno to Track his Rising Star, the Phuquing Ivana!

The Olympic Village escaped a major catastrophe today with the arrival of an emergency supply of another 20,000 condoms after the initial ration ran out unexpectedly due to 'rampant sexual euphoria' spurred by Ivana Phuque's explosion onto the world stage.

Officials from the World Health Agency, as well as Olympic Officials, blame the shortage on the Swedish Speed Skater.,The 6'1" Blonde Striking Viking has taken the world by storm with her prime time icecapades and her off ice escapades!

Prior to the Olympics, Al Gore the Climate Guru, was asked to project the number of condoms anticipated during the 'games' for the 7,000 athletes.

Gore said he went as far back as the original games in Greece in 776 B.C., and using impeccable scientific data which incorporated meticulous research including the number of births 9 months after the conclusion of the games, came up with the profound number of 100,000 condoms needed.

Gore also said he figured in some unsubstantiated reports provided by the UK Soccer Federation, the NBA, and more recently the PGA, although the latter numbers were not fully tabulated, and some first hand experience he had prior to his marriage to wife Tipper.

Ivana, with her prominent upper body, bodacious legs and glorious Gluteus Maximus encased in a revealing spandex speed suit, has taken the world by storm, as witness her name leading the hit parade on Google.

President of the 'Ivana Phuque Phan Club', Mr. Hal A. Peno, 49 and a former Trekkie Fan Club President, is said to be beside himself with glee.

"When I Phluked Ivana from obscurity and made her my Fantasy, I never knew she could be so BIG!" This is simply MARVELOUS! My 'Phuquing Newsletter' now has over 12M subscribers and I'm now Phuquing Numb trying to keep up!"

Peno said he will soon have 'Phuquing T-Shirts' as he has contracted with a child labor sewing company in Phuket, Thailand, Phuquing Air Cushioned Trainers , and even Phuquing Helmets with Viking Horns.

"When Star Trek ran it's course, I thought I was done for," said the now peppered haired middle aged fan, " but now, wow! With Ivana this famous I'm back on top again feeling Phuquing GREAT!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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