The World Health Organization have today announced that global narcissism has reached pandemic proportions.
A spokesman said, "Self-absorption, self-interest and self-importance has infected the world's population on a scale never before seen."
Narcissism can be fatal, in recent weeks 200 British botox addicts have suffered a reaction and spontaneously transformed into plastic.
The public is calling on the Government to take action as people become life-size dolls across the country.
When interviewed on how we will tackle the urgent problem in the UK the Prime Minister told his official interviewer Sir Morgan of Talent, "Let's not talk about that Piers ... Let's talk about me."