The Antarctic Commission, the governing authority of Antarctica, has launched a desperate plea to the press to ask the public to send money to support victims of the recent earthquake in Antarctica.
Two days ago an earthquake of magnitude 6.3 hit the tip of Von Semen's Land, causing a 2km glacier to crack, and wounding a penguin.
A spokesman for the Commission said, "We urgently need help, and most importantly your attention. Please tell everyone you know to give money. Earthquakes kill and they are happening all over the world every day. If we raise enough money, we will be able to glue together the earth's tectonic plates and prevent any more earthquakes from happening."
"Please give us your money," he begged. "But more important than that is that we are in your face harassing you for your money every day."