Written by Nae mair crap
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Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Course leader, Professor Patula de Fairt, has been sensationally removed from her post by the academic board of the University of Blackburn. A board member, Jeemy (baby) Mc Robert explained that de Fairt has been discovered to have worked an elaborate deception, in league with several other subo fanatics to gain control of the course and feed the proceeds of their deception into an unofficial fansites bank accounts.

The board has taken the unusual step of refusing to name any of the fanatics who intended to take over the course. Contact with these individuals will be minimised and a Behavioural Therapist, much sought after and highly regarded has been asked to assist.

All can be identified as being emotionally disturbed and may at times foam at the mouth. This is not caused by excess consumption of Irn Bru or Smarties but by persons in an extreme delusional state of omnipotence brought on by long term self congratulation.

Before the group of fanatics were led to a waiting security vehicle, their trademark red scarves were removed to prevent self harm. Two of the fanatics discussed the possibility of converting the security vehicle into a tour bus using surplus red plastic to cover seats. One extremely irate fanatic cried out that she had a birth certificate that proved she was Scottish. She was admonished by a fellow fanatic, who told her to "close the door it's cold but don't let it hit you where the good lord split you".

The fanatics were deported and security officials are tracking their flight because of a high security alert received from various sources in Denver, New York and Toronto.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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