Written by Daniel Bristol
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Monday, 22 February 2010

image for Woman Chokes During Oral Sex Demo
Penis-Shaped Meat: It's What's For Dinner, Beeyotch!

The world has fallen in love with the hot dog ever since its invention. This is especially true in the United States, where the amount of hot dogs Americans consume in a year is measured in hundreds of tons.

However, thanks to the limp-noodle culture of Political Correctness and Litigation Fever that dominates the United States, Hot Dogs may soon go the way of the dildo....I mean DODO!! Sorry!

This comes in the wake of a choking incident that has claimed the life of a high-school sex education teacher.

Felaysha Dicker, 23, choked to death on a hot dog at a hot dog stand in Peoria, Illinois while demonstrating for her Sex Education class the correct method for performing oral sex.

Well, I figure you've gotta be some kinda stupid to choke to death on a hot dog dog," said Mike Hunt, lead paramedic to arrive on the scene. "But to choke on it because you were demonstrating a bj for your class? Sheesh! Then you gotta be either from New England or Californicate!"

However, Dicker's lawyer, Mona Bichy, representing the firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe, said his client, though dead, would indeed be seeking damages from the Big Long hot dog company, and that a lobbying group to make hot dogs illegal has been started.

"Hot dogs are as American as apple pie," Bichy said. "That makes them politically incorrect, insensitive, patriarchal, chauvinist and perverted because they are shaped like a pee-pee. We want all hot dogs to come with warning labels informing the public that they could choke on these things, especially if they go down on them! I mean, it's my client's right to perform orally on a hot dog for her students!"

Bichy has filed suit with a Californicate court, where the judges are stupid enough to allow lawsuits like this one. Bichy then announced she would be launching a campaign to rid the world of all pee-pee shaped foods.

"Today hot dogs," Bichy told lawyers, hot on the trail of money. "Tomorrow: spotted dick!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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