At the beginning of the week 'Soccer Tonight!' announcers Skoob and Erin were erroneously identified as part of a Mossad Hit Squad who took out a Hamas leader in Dubai. Today, Iran claims they are actually MI-6 and CIA agents intent on fomenting post election dissent within the Iranian Soccer Team!
Both breathed a sigh of relief earlier, when it was discovered that the Dubai hit squad, allegedly sent by Mossad, the Israeli secret police, made duplicate copies of their Pass Ports when they were last in town covering the UK-Israel charity match to raise money for Kerry Katona.
Within days however, new charges, this time from Iranian Chief of Police Ahmadi Moghaddam claimed the pair were actually secret agents, and banned them from entering the country to cover upcoming soccer events between the Government team, "The Mullahs" and the team from the opposition party "The Doomed."
Since, according to Sharia law, the losers are put to death immediately after the match by public stoning, the Police Chief decided 'no publicity' was better than 'bad publicity' during the episode of 'election cleansing."
Adding some credence to the chiefs accusations were reports that Erin and Skoob were stopped at a security checkpoint in France last week, and temporarily detained over some discrepancies in their 'carry on' luggage.
During a 'nude scan', Erin was found to have forgotten to take off her 'helmet cam' which was hidden behind her Man U cap, and Skoob hadn't removed his
'nostril Cam' after a face to face with Vanessa Perroncel and Cheryl Cole in a special regarding Soccer Shagging : 'Why They Do Dat', set to air next week.
Both cameras, according to French authorities, were highly technical, and way above spy cams readily available at Best Buy or Marks and Spenser.
The announcers were quickly released after protests were lodged by both the UK and American Governments in a rare form of simultaneous blasts of outrage and condemnation regarding human rights.
Said Skoob, "I've been accused of a lot of things in my time, but I certainly couldn't kill even a wabbit, and I really don't care who dies in a soccer match...well, it'd be a bit of all right if Terry got knocked about a bit, but other than that, I'm a right Pussy Kat!"
Erin wasn't as quick to write things off. "Skoob does have a bit of a temper and a wicked sense of fair play...if he felt someone was doing a mate wrong...yeah, I could see him shocking his testicles, almost drowning him, and then wrapping a garrote around his neck and doing him...we're speaking hypothetically here, ain't we?"
The interview was quickly ended and the pair were hustled off in a black Bentley with tinted windows by a horde of men in 3 piece suits, bowlers, and things that looked like umbrellas. But probably weren't.