Last week HRH Queen Latifah- I mean Elizabeth II- visited her native home of Somalia for her annual "Poor People" trip.
After getting off the royal chopper, she was greeted by an almighty smell, a mixture of death, rats and old people. Se exclaimed "Oh my goodness! What in the name of my corgis is that disgusting smell?" After six hours of searching they found out that it was the somalian driver, Ungatete, who was wearing the latest Somalian Aftershave.
The Queen had to walk the way to the hotel, as the donkeys were tired, and she rested on the bed, a pile of hay. She felt something under her, only to discover it was a horse shit. It was at this moment that she decided to leave the country.
She sat on the donkey, who was 83 years old, and it crippled under the weight of her. She got up and walked back to the hotel and demanded a first class flight out of the country. They managed to get her first class in a somalian airlines flight. However, first class was not all it was cracked up to be. Her seat was donkey shit and she was given champagne made from cows udders.
After the 80 hour flight with a record 400 stops, the queen arrived back at england, exclaiming "bomb the f*****g country!!!! NOW!!!!"
There you have it The Queens first, and last, trip to Somalia.
I would like to thank Suhu, who gave us an amazing insight into the dealings of Somalia and the crap they call first class..