Tora Bora, Afghanistan - (Kabulshit): It's been an open NATO secret for the last 30 years: top global terrorist and 9/11 fall guy Osama Bin Laden is really the son of Nelson Mandela and top Opus Dei harlot Mother Theresa RIP.
And now jailed Venezuelan/Russian terrorist known as Carlos the Jackal is furious at being downgraded to mere garbage status following Bin Laden's universal etiolation as terror's top dog par excellence.
The news comes as CIA top brass prepares for a massive damage limitation exercise ahead of Carlos The Jackal's memoirs, to be published next month.
Born Ilich Ramírez Sánchez the incarcerated bad guy is livid that his own reputation as ther world's leading purveyor of mayhem and ruin is being besmirched by the upstart Bin Laden and his Mossad handlers in The Vatican.
Ramirez is also very upset at all the free PR that Bin Laden and his fetid sidekick Ayman Zawahiri have managed to milk from the unsuspecting masses.
French prison sources claim that he is threatening to out all Bin Laden's Al Qaeda bretheren as nothing more than former Vantcan Bank creditors in hock to God's Banker's insolvency lawyers.
The Jackal's insistence that UK children's fiction plagiarist JK Rowling was behind the Lockerbie bombing is also a worry for British security.
"Ramirez knows where all the bodies are buried," disgraced UK ex-cop Ali Dizaei once told Prince Charles.
He's now sergving four years in HMP Belmarsh for letting the side down like a complete and utter tosser.
Camilla is 69.