Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Haiti

Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Haiti Earthquake Was "Their Own Fault"
Some Haitians causing an earthquake

The terrible earthquake that caused so much devastation in the central American country of Haiti last month, could have been avoided by the people there, and was, to a large extent, "their own fault", it has been claimed.

Eminent professor at the University of Nowhere, Dr Sulimain Gibbon, has told relief workers that the Haitian people are prone to enjoying themselves by singing and dancing the Calypso at Carnival time, and this could well have had an effect on the Earth's crust, leading to further problems miles underground in the core.

Lots of people died in the attack, and several more lost property in the aftermath. Looting was widespread, and all football matches in the country were cancelled.

Every day is party time in Haiti - or was - with folks regularly taking a break from work to go and dance in the street, and this is particularly so at Carnival time and Mardi Gras (or is that Brazil I'm thinking about? I'm always getting these funny places mixed up!)

Dr Gibbon said:

"If the people stopped dancing so much, the Earth wouldn't be so angry with them. It wouldn't have grumbled and chundered like that, and all the buildings would still be standing. They ought to be more careful in the future."

Scientists have totally refuted Dr Gibbon's ridiculous claim. One, seismologist Henry Glumshite, of the US Underground Study group VOODOO, told me:

"This earthquake was always going to happen. It was in the cards."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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