A Chinese astrologer, born in New York, named Panda Chan has been reported as saying that the year of the Tiger is going to be great. Its going to be all fireworks and fortune.
The year will start when we all win the lottery. Apparently that's what happens in Tiger years. If you don't participate in the lottery, then you are going to find lots of money just lying about in the street.
After this it is possible that all your dreams will come true. You will find everlasting love and happiness and all your children will be born healthy, happy and excessively intelligent.
Panda says she is particularly optimistic about this year because all the stars in the heavens have aligned in exactly the correct formations for good luck. Her doctor, however, says that it is very unwise to pay attention to anything Panda says at the moment because she has just been diagnosed with a severely debilitating mental illness. Its called hyperoptimism and only leads to disappointment.
By Katarina Frogpond