Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 7 February 2010

image for Children In Ireland Have Contest To Design Birth Certificate For Barack Obama
Fergus used crayons, not colored pencils.

Children in Ireland have decided to practice "hands across the water" and send help to their distant cousins in the United States. School children all over the country have answered the call to create their own Barack Obama Birth Certificate and send then to the American President.

Obama, who is unable to prove exactly where or when he was born (some relatives say that they were present for his birth in Nigeria, while others believe that he was born in Hawaii), may not be legally eligible to be President of the United States of America.

The winning entry from one local school belonged to eight year old Fergus McCarthy. Little Fergus proudly held up his creation for photographers and reporters and bragged that "I used every color crayon in my box except for the purple, because I can't find my purple."

The winning certificate puts the location of birth as Bangladesh. When asked why he chose that city, Fergus said "I like the way it sounds, and it's as Moslem as any other city he was probably born in." His drawing also contained, as he called it, "lots of curliques and official looking signatures and shit."

Young Fergus received a prize of two tickets for this weekend's football game and a free pint each from a local pub for him and his classmates. "I'm going to appreciate the ale the most," said the boy. "All the kids get mad at me because I never buy a round for the class, so this should set me square."

An American reporter asked if it was appropriate for an eight year old group of children to have a round of beer. "It's okay," answered the young winner. "Our ale is good for you, not like your American flavored horse piss. We've been drinking this since we was five and never had a problem."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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