Written by LisaPisa
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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Ebony And Ivory Are No Longer Together In Perfect Harmony
Gone are the days....

Stevie Wonder is so angry he refuses to wave his head about anymore, and Paul McCartney has stuck his hands in his pockets and says he won't give the thumbs up sign ever again.

Why are these two so upset?

I'll tell you why: Ebony and Ivory are at odds with each other.

Meant to be a call for cooperation between blacks and whites, the Wonder/McCartney shite song Ebony & Ivory inspired millions of people to embrace across the racial lines and possibly go on camping trips to the country, visit museums or even share a drink or two in the local pub.

But that was the heady days of the early 1980's, a time when people tucked their jumpers into their tight denim jeans; a time when men had perms; a time when going on holiday to Butlins was the acceptable norm.

How times have changed.

McCartney and Wonder now hate each other the way children hate Brussels's sprouts.

They both agree on one thing, though: the song was actually just about stupid piano key's and the whole 'combat racism' angle was a complete coincidence and a fluke.

McCartney also says that the Beatles song 'Come Together' is actually about group wanking - something he, John, George and Ringo did frequently.

As soon as communities got to hear of this 'Ebony/Ivory' rift, their entire belief system was shattered.
Friends who were drawn together by the alleged message of the song have now told each other to 'fuck off!'. Men who traded garden tools now trade insults.

Even pianists have turned on their instruments, refusing to play the white keys or vice versa.

Public opinion is split over Pandas, penguins and zebra's, with zoo's being split into 'black' or 'white's only' sections that cannot cater for these beasts.

Children in school now write on blackboards with only black chalk, thus destroying any chance at learning algebra or the alphabet.

Nobody obeys zebra crossings - not that anyone did in the first place.
White people have been seen spitting in the shadows as they pass by. Black people shout abuse at streetlights and sheets of paper and even sugar lumps get a right good kicking.

"It's almost like Charlie Manson's Helter Skelter dream has come true....kind of", said McCartney.

It leaves this writer wondering if McCartney and Wonder had written about guitar strings or harmonica's instead then possibly none of this would have occurred.

Make LisaPisa's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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