For some people, the UK and the USA share a common language, but for other observers there are two distinctly seperate languages - 'English' and 'American English'
The rift between the two camps was never more apparent than yesterday in New York City, when an English visitor and his US host became temporarily confused over a linguistic misunderstanding.
Hiram P Blunderbuss III (the American) initiated the confusion when he announced to Percival Marchmont-Riverdancer (the Englishman) that he was going out for a 'gyro'
Marchmont-Riverdancer was taken aback, because his host lived in a swish Upper East Side apartment and sported all the trappings of serious wealth yet in England a 'giro' is an unemployment benefit cheque, like a welfare cheque.
Blunderbuss III then led his English guest out of the apartment, into the elevator, and outside onto the sidewalk, warning Marchmont-Riverdancer not to stray onto the pavement lest he be shunted by a passing car.
After a brief foray into the streets of Manhattan, Blunderbuss III took his guest into a store and purchased a 'gyro'
Whose English equivalent is a 'doner kebab'
The linguistic misunderstanding was quickly cleared up with both men laughing uproariously at the absurdity of the situation.
The cameraderie did not hold up however. An incident later occurred in a bar whereby Blunderbuss III punched Marchmont-Riverdancer in the face, breaking his nose and necessitating a visit to the ER after the Englishman asked his host if he'd like to step outside and smoke a fag.
More as we get it.