Written by whatinthe world
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Friday, 29 January 2010

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Rescued from the ruins of Pompeii, our hero is now looking for a good time.

Rome, Italy. In mind-blowingly staggering news, a person has been freed from the lava covered ruins of Pompeii, after the volcanic eruption of nearby Mt Vesuvius in AD 79.

The gentleman, still breathing and conscious, was half smiling and praising the gods, as rescuers (believed to be Japanese tourists visiting the site) dragged him from a hitherto unseen niche in the ruins.

The rescued citizen of Pompeii was keen to find out what happened to the rest of his fellow countrymen but nobody had the heart to tell him the truth so he was just told that they had all gone to live in Napoli. Most of all he wanted to find out who won the Olympic tournament that was allegedly played out when the volcano erupted.

His first request was for a bottle of red burgundy to quench his 1,930 year thirst. Many people are astonished by his recovery and want to sign him up for magazine deals and newspaper interviews. Even Italian porn makers want him to appear in their movies.

His name? Well, let's just call him Fred.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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