Written by LisaPisa
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Topics: Haiti, Tea

Sunday, 24 January 2010

image for Haiti Punished Because They Hate Tea
A Haitian mocking the Gods with a big mug of coffee

An expert in such things has concluded that the Haitian earthquake which devastated the Caribbean country was as a result of Mother Nature not taking too kindly to the inhabitants dislike of her favourite drink.

"If they had have named the country 'Haitpea' or 'Haitbee' they might just have got away with it", said expert in such matters, George Noetawl, "but no, they had to go picking on Mother Nature's delicious beverage"

Haitian's like their coffee and have no shame in flaunting it (see image). Mother Nature's wrath was only inevitable after this blatant disregard for her authority.

"Global warming was her way of saying 'Fuck you, humans' for the way we have been using up all her ice-cube reserves. The whole tea thing was just one step to far".

The Haitian government - which consists entirely of American soldiers and a couple of aid workers from Poland - have promised to rename the country and fix the wrongs of the past.

The new nation of 'Loveti' will be established and lots and lots of tea plantations will be created in reparation to the world's favourite imaginary female angry God.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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