Vatican Shitty - (God's Wanker Mess): The sinister self-flagellating cult's recent review of its Asian flag of convenience has been a runaway success.
With over 90% of members of the public having swallowed its Al Qaeda rebranding the covert satanic self-help club is recruiting for a biggie.
The immensely successful selling of 'Osama' on the world stage cost them the eventual downfall of the Bernard Madoff ponzi empire - but whaddahell!
Even Ayman Zawahiri and shoo-in bomber Richard Reid were instant runaway success stories, care of the immensely kind patronage of George W Bush and his witless successor 'Cousin' Barack.
As the cabal meets in the Heinrich Himmler wing of the Vatican this weekend only one issue remains a source of extreme worry: just how much do the cops really know and why are they staying schtum?
"Zey no nassink," Papa Ratzi told his accomplices.
"Zees miracle voz promised by Holy Farter Pope John Paul 2! Truss me, ve vill rule ze world again by next veekend!"
Madonna is on the FBI's list of Most Wanted. Again.