In a dramatic announcement from the BNP (the British Nutty People and nothing to do with any political party that may have the same acronym), spokesman Nicholas Griffin (no relation to any political party leader), revealed that Desmond Hitler, son and lack-of-love child of former German dictator and megalomaniac Adolf Hitler, is alive and well and living on the troubled isle of Haiti.
His existence was admitted yesterday when rescue teams were digging through the rubble and unearthed a large metal room under one of the houses.
Closer inspection revealed it was a microwave that could seat 12, and hiding inside was the man who was later discovered to be Desmond Hitler, together with the designer of the microwave, a chap called Kevin Himmler, the son of some chap involved in World War II.
It seems that the pair regularly invited neighbours round to their place to sit in their special room for a barbeque.
In fact the guests regularly were the barbeque.